| Beat Soup / Press / Old News / Big Tobacco | Dec 1, 1999 |
Beat
Soup Sues Big Tobacco |
Attorneys for
the Boston Ska dance band Beat Soup announced today that
they were filing a 16.7 million dollar lawsuit against
Big Tobacco. Reached for comment band spokesmodel Whizboy
said, "We just want a little attention...and money,
lots of money, we're not even bothering Little Tobacco."
The band claims it will use the 16.7 million to fund
their upcoming CD Miriam Your Toast is Burning.
However Karl Schneider, Trombone player with the band,
was overheard as slurring, "Do you have any idea how
much beer 16.7 million dollars will buy? Do you?" Though no one in the band actually smokes, several members have complained that playing in smoky clubs with poor ventilation is "gross" and Tenor Sax player Robin Haynes is on record as saying that second hand tobacco smoke makes her clothes smell "icky." Recently added Trumpet player John Deane said, "I don't know why they're doing this, I'm the new guy, what do I know? Maybe they're on drugs or something." "Since I quit smoking 4 years ago they don't call, write...nothing. I really thought they were my friends," said singer Che Cuetara as he filed the 219-page suit in federal court yesterday. Asked if he believed the suit had any merit Drummer John (Greenwich-mean) Jackson said, "Yes absolutely, It is has lots of merit, we're totally serious...well maybe not totally, well, mostly serious...and, well, no, not really... can I start again?" "We're just responding to our increasingly litigious society, keeping our finger on the pulse of the mass media, echoing the heartbeat of our generation, sucking like leaches at the life-blood of pop culture, choking the bloody stump of the engorged legal system with a tourniquet of red tape," said Bass Player Goboy Alexander before being asked to "cut that out." In a show of solidarity, Boston ska
band The Allstonians vowed to continue drinking until
such time as a reasonable settlement is reached and even
indefinitely beyond. |
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